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Aaron's avatar

Clever Claws that you are, Mr DT Brown, I'm sure you recognize that hedge-fund COA outfits and PayPal are working the same side of the street: What the customer thinks she's getting and what the vendor delivers aren't the same thing. I'd expect a COA dealer and PayPal to make good on their implied or in the case of PayPal stated guarantee. PayPal suggest that if you have a problem with a seller they'll step in and make it right. PayPal will, after you jump through various online hoops, as you saw for yourself. Just wait until PayPal implements its AI customer service.

Oddly enough the best customer service I've ever experienced was courtesy of Amazon. I bought a hub for my Mac and it arrived without any documentation. It was complicated enough that I couldn't guess what connectors went to which ports. After diligently searching the vendor site I found user's manual — in Chinese.

At that point I went to Amazon's customer service, explained my problem, and an agent actually called me. His original take was it should be simple enough to set up. I explained I don't plug things into my laptop and hope for the best. He went to the site, found the manual in Chinese or at least in a language that wasn't English. At that point I asked if I could just return the device and he said, "Sure." I dropped it off at the returns desk of a Whole Foods (owned by Amazon) and by the time I got back to my car my account had been credited.

I don't shop at Whole Foods because they won't allow workers to organize. I realize that Amazon is the Great Satan, but they've got great customer service. Maybe they threaten uncooperative vendors with hellfire. Besides, my soul is so blackened by this point dealing with Satan is the least of my troubles.

Good column, as always. A few more details about how this forgery scam works would be appreciated. I've given up trying to manufacture ghost guns on my 3-D printer.

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